Things Are Not the Same

What would happen if nothing changed? Can you imagine if we just pressed pause on everything and all of the universe just stood still? What if that amazing sunset you experienced with a loved one continued forever, what if that amazing piece of music you heard carried on and on, what if that feeling you felt when you held a puppy didn’t end? What if we did the same thing over and over again like Groundhog day?

This current situation is a change that has come about without our choice, it definitely wasn’t in the script. When we are faced by events that are not of our choosing,our reactions  can be unhelpful. 

Because this change is not in your control, you may judge it as negative. You may feel that there is an injustice, you have lost something, maybe you feel like you’re not your ?old self? and things will  never be the same again.

This is a natural response to something we perceive as threatening to our life or even our way of life. A simple habit you did has gone; going to the shop, cinema, pub, cafe, beach. This change makes you feel out of control and because the freedom we believe in so dearly has gone!!

We may fight, flight or freeze; It could be you ignore the official guidelines and continue your life as before in protest. You may become irritable, argumentative and react to minor annoyances. You may want to run away to the hills, escape to the country, avoid family, friends or colleagues, avoid advice, avoid news or any new information, you may become energised and panic. You may feel totally overwhelmed and your mood may drop and eventually feel lethargic, hopeless and apathetic. You may become resistant, going into a mode of denial not accepting what is currently happening.

For many of us, control over our lives is important; being able to do the things we enjoy brings us joy, hope and happiness and these are good for our wellbeing. Personally, the current pandemic has made me change habits that have brought me lots of pleasure; going to the gym, eating out and day trips with my family. Even the idea of not being able to do the things I don?t usually do is having an effect. Our options and choices are very powerful and when these are restricted we tend to limit our behaviours which can feel like we are going round and round on a treadmill or perhaps feel like we are hemmed in, or like a caged bird which can trigger our stress response.

Our thoughts about the current situation can be unhelpful or helpful depending on how you view your current situation. I have heard people saying, ?I don’t know what I?m going to do?, ?I don’t know how I?ll cope with being stuck in? and ?I?ll run out of food?. 

Here?s the thing; in your life I?m sure you’ve been thrust into situations whereby you have had to cope, manage and overcome difficult times. I?m sure, you have adapted, you?ve learnt and overcome hard times. And I wonder, when you have done this, have you given yourself credit, rewarded yourself or even praised yourself for the great things you’ve done?

So what if today, you started congratulating yourself on the things you do that are good, great and positive. You have got here, in this present moment, it has been challenging but you got through it, well done!! Lots of times in our lives we may not be able to see ourselves realistically, the small minor victories and the little wins. It is the little things that are important in life; the beach is nothing without the sand, the sand is nothing without the grain. All of these things come together to make one whole thing that we enjoy. 

We recently clapped and showed our gratitude for all the people who care, support and keep us going. Those people need us to keep them going and vice versa. We are like the beach above, parts of the bigger whole, the ?we? instead of ?I?, the ?us? not the ?me?, relying one each other for support, putting the we into illness, making it ?wellness?.